Why I am doing this

I knew when I began this blog that updates would be sporadic at best, but I did not anticipate that I would feel guilty about that. Life as a vet student is absolutely crazy, and time is remarkably limited. Lately I've been wondering what the hell I'm doing down here, in Mississippi, 1300 miles away from home and the man that I've been completely in love with since the day I realized it was possible. I've been wondering why, at twenty-eight, I decided that MORE education would be a good thing. And then I remember my childhood. I remember wanting to be a veterinarian, pretending to "bandage" Bandit's legs with ribbon (she was the only tolerant one, bless her). I remember deciding, upon the death of a beloved pet, that I could never handle that aspect of medicine. Now, after having been a technician in two emergency practices, I better understand that the ability to ease suffering is a gift. I remember why I am doing this, and it gets a little easier. I try not to simply study for a test, but to LEARN the material and store it away for some future use. They told us during orientation that you enter the veterinary profession the day you send in your acceptance; now I realize how very true that is. This is my life, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Happy Birthday, America!

There's nothing like a major holiday weekend to teach you everything you need to know about the new town you've moved into. Last Sunday, I learned that just about everything here is closed. (Presumably because everyone's at church in the morning and family barbeques in the evening.) THIS Sunday, July 4, I discovered some things: #1. The WalMart down the street is 24/7 and is only closed on Christmas Day (because we have to celebrate Jesus, ya know); #2. In September of 2009, Starkville began selling alcohol on Sundays, from 11am to 10pm; #3. In Mississippi, beer is sold in grocery stores and convenience stores. If you put all this together, you figure out that despite the fact that it's the Fourth, I was able to go into my local WalMart and purchase this:

After damn near killing myself this morning as I drove around Mississippi State University and the town of Starkville, hanging my head and my camera out the window (photos below), I thought it might be a nice, quiet, refreshing way to celebrate Independence Day in my new (temporary) home. Inside, of course, because it's 92 degrees out there and I'm just not used to that yet.

This Morning's Endeavor: "Moving Photography"
(and yes, I was actually driving for most of these shots)

Drive up to the Wise Center, where MSU-CVM is housed

Downtown Starkville (the old part). Thank god it was a holiday or I'd have killed somebody.

Pretty houses in the older section

Talk about pride! Even the water tower roots for the Bulldogs.

I think this sign is hysterical on so many levels.

That, in a nutshell, is the town as I see it. The vet school, the pretty southern stuff, football, and barbeque. And really, to a point, that's been my experience this week. Who knows what's to come?

(I was going to try to come up with something witty to close this one, but the photos took so long to load I'm halfway through the second Mike's and about ready for a nap. See ya!)

Ch-ch-ch-changes

I'm sitting here in my new room, listening to Jack Johnson and watching the cats take over my tiny bed. I've talked to Pat 3 times and my dad twice. I made dinner, did dishes, had a glass of wine and read 10 pages of immunology (class hasn't even started yet). It didn't occur to me how much I became used to a certain way of life with certain people in certain places until those things all came out of the equation, one way or another. Life feels different. Not bad, but not the same. Definitely going to take some getting used to. That said, I'd rather everything get shaken up at once than just get settled down and turned upside down again. I miss Pat, and Bailey and Lucas and Obe and Bella. I miss my mom so much it actually HURTS when I breathe sometimes. I wish she could have seen me getting coated and been proud that I was doing the thing I've always dreamed of doing. I wish she could have seen me yesterday, flying down a zipline after shouting my nickname, "Petunia zipping!" It's going to be hard remembering that I can't call her; my fingers know the way so well. But - and there's always a but - life moves forward. No matter how much I'd like for time to stand still, just for a little while, I can be sure that it won't. Grief is a funny thing. It comes and goes, washing over you in waves. Sometimes it makes you a little shaky and other times it just bowls you over. But you have to keep moving, because you know in your heart that if you slow down, or stop, you'll sink in and never be able to climb out. Which is why I'm here, in Mississippi, doing this vet school thing, and trying to keep moving.

A long road

According to AAA, it is 1273.2 miles from Kingston, Rhode Island to Mississippi State University in Starkville. This seems like a very long way. 19 hours, not counting stops, delays, and an overnight. Nike says she is not looking forward to the journey (she's not sure she can sit still that long). Heck, I'm not sure I can. And if you've ever taken a road trip with me you know there will be about a million "pee stops."

When I went to college in Frederick, Maryland, it felt like a world away from home. But all my friends were dispersing across the country to their own various colleges, so it didn't seem too bad. Now, I have to accept that I'm the only one leaving, and I'm leaving behind one of the only people who has supported me throughout this entire endeavor, despite his own reservations and selfishness. This makes it so much harder. The closer it gets, the more I hope I'm up for this...

Procrastination and Neglect

Yeah, I know. I totally stopped posting photos. But that was because I stopped taking them. While I feel like a major loser, it occurred to me that I'm going to have to keep this blog going if I'm going to continue to knit. And move to Mississippi. Does anybody know what Mississippi looks like? I've only seen it once.


And now, I'm about to head into that red spot (it's called Starkville) for at least the next 4 years of my life to attend Mississippi State's college of Veterinary Medicine. Wow. I remember the days when I used to fake bandage my pets. Now I'm going to be doing it for real! I figure the only way my friends and family are going to be able to keep track of me is through my posts, so I'll try to be good about it and let you guys live vicariously. Stay tuned!