2008 Presidential election - making history

Like many Americans, I voted on Tuesday, November 4, 2008. The line was short at 10:30am, and the process was fast - I had already made my decisions. And, I'm proud to say, like the majority of Americans, I cast my ballot for Barack Obama. (As I write this, spellcheck underlines both words of his name. Hmm.) That night, the world watched with bated breath, wondering if hope for change and a new direction would prevail. Would it be decided early or, like the 2000 presidential election, would it take a month or more before it was finalized? Immediately following the poll closings at 11pm EST, we had our answer. Watching the television intently, I saw images of people first cheering, then weeping. Jesse Jackson was teary-eyed. Oprah looked simultaneously relieved and incredulous as she watched President-elect Barack Hussein Obama take the stage in Grant Park as the 44th President of the United States. People were crying in Chicago, in Harlem, in Washington, D.C., and in Kenya. And we, in a little apartment in Kingston, Rhode Island, joined them unabashedly. I did not live through the Civil Rights Movement. I never heard Martin Luther King, Jr. speak. And I can never, nor would I attempt, to claim that I know what it feels like to be a racial minority. But I recognized immediately the weight of these things, carried on the shoulders of 64,415,154 voters. I saw it on their faces, as they celebrated victory. I felt barriers shattering around me, and as Obama spoke, I saw it in his eyes. Change has come.

Watch a video of Obama's acceptance speech

Definitions of self

Who decides who we are as individuals? Is it society that puts labels on us, or do we categorize ourselves that way? Why must everything fit in a nice package, inside a box? I've recently come to the realization that my definition of self is constantly changing. Perhaps not changing but evolving. The more I learn about myself, the harder it is to fit myself in a box, and the less desirable that becomes. I think that as individuals we should strive to grow emotionally, and how we define ourselves during these spurts is crucial. If definitions aren't revisited, or reevaluated, we are not learning, and therefore cannot grow. Often, we decide on a label for ourselves - because it is comfortable or accepted. Some of us find alternative classifications that may be uncomfortable and not as widely accepted (by society at large). I think for us these realizations take much more time. However, once we settle on an identity, I think we are much less likely to revisit the process. It's difficult, and unpleasant, and we're not going back there. And then there's me. When my entire world is upside down and backwards, it makes the most sense. I've come to one of those defining moments in my life, and I realize that it's possible that what I want right now and who I've been characterizing myself as for the past 10 years might actually be compatible. Which is a potentially crazy thought. Panic-inducing, even. And I'm strangely comfortable with that....

Pride

It's Gay Pride Month. Well, actually, it's the end of it, and I just now got around to realizing it. I was reading something the other day that said, "Gay pride month, formerly known as June..." and it got me thinking. To me, June is still JUNE. It probably always will be. And while my life is influenced by my sexuality, it is not my entire world, as it is for some people. It does not define who I am, nor does it dictate the who/what/when/where/how of my life. But that is not to say that I'm not prideful. I'm thankful for the strides that those who've come before me have made. I'm grateful that they shut down streets in order to have a pride parade, because at least that means we're out there in numbers that can't be ignored. We're here, we're queer, get used to it! (Cliche, I know, but still true.)

Seriously though, I think as more people have come out, and been encouraged to do so, it's become harder to turn a blind eye. Visibility matters. In fact, even Cox Communications now carries Logo. I discovered this the other night, and in a fit of joy parked myself in front of the television for hours, watching comedy and short film. And at my excitement at gay programming, a good friend of mine (who will willingly admit that she's a lesbian trapped in a straight girl's body) expressed her jealousy and asked why I needed Logo. (I'm already gay, which apparently means I don't need to watch gay-ness on television). So, as much as I love her, I feel like I need to make things clear: I need Logo. Every gay person in America needs it. Visibility MATTERS. The importance of gay programming on standard cable must be understood, especially by allies. Because if THEY don't get why we need it, all that progress has been for naught. And I really can't bear to see that happen; I can't imagine taking any more steps backward than our administration has already pushed us.